AGEISM Part 1: You’re Not the Boss of Me…

What’s in a number?  Well, contrary to what your immediate answer might be…take a look around you and decide for yourself if age really is being treated inclusively?

I’ve always been in the beauty and fashion realm, so naturally I love all that’s beautiful and I look ahead to what’s new.  But just like we’re working on altering the route of fashion and look towards sustainability- meaning there’s room for improvement- Same can be said about the beauty industry.

Personally I hate the word anti-aging.  It sounds like ‘being against’ aging.  We can’t help but to age- so why be against it?  That would be a losing battle.  As though anti-aging were a cure to aging!  It’s called getting older because it’s an ongoing process- not something that starts at one specific moment in our timeline.  It starts from the day we’re born!  It’s an inevitable process.

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Let’s start focusing on looking and feeling GOOD, rather than looking YOUNG.  Big difference.  When we embrace this, nothing stops us from doing whatever we want in order to feel and look great.  That includes all types of means to get you to feel this way- from what you: eat, wear, exercise, use as skin care, meditate, use as cosmetics…and yes, even cosmetic surgery if you want it.

Taking care of oneself is important to us all.  A good example is how we take care of our teeth; there’s a health reason behind that, but also a cosmetic one (otherwise we’d all just get our teeth done in silver fillings or have them pulled out and remain toothless!).  It’s a matter of health, hygiene and beauty- no matter the age.

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It all boils down to this: The choice is yours and no one else’s.  The beauty industry, social media and advertising should not be the ones dictating to us.  In fact, as much as very young women are influenced my the media- so are we! We long to be represented in movies, magazines and social media for what a realistic woman looks like. And when you see that magazines put out photos of oder women that are completely photoshopped- that’s deceiving and alarming.

In terms of how we want to portray ourselves (in how we dress, if we choose to wear makeup or not, whether we choose to get procedures done or not)- all that is OUR Choice. But when the media chooses – that’s off. We need to rebel against that! They don’t own us!  Perfect time for us midlife women to shout out: My body, My choice!  (Or you might want to sing along to:  “…don’t tell me what to do…don’t tell me what to say…you’re not the boss of me…”).

Today another blogger friend of mine, Gail of Is This Mutton, is also approaching this topic.

The more we face aging with a defiant attitude, the more we give it a bad rap.  And- our girls are watching.  In fact, they’re watching so closely and seem petrified of aging if you ask me.  They’re being told and shown that age needs to be combatted- they need armor…and they’re equipping themselves younger and younger.  We need to show them that cosmetics and surgery are not there to erase or change the morphia of a personit’s there to help bring out what you love about yourself!

Young women need to see how we accept ourselves and use the tools at hand to make us feel good in our skin as we accept that we cannot stop the hands of time.  I do believe everything starts with vocabulary and how we name things.  And calling products anti-age; age-defying; erasing; and more, is counter- productive and non-inclusive.

Let’s stop using:  She looks great for her age- or- She’s beautiful for an older woman…and just say: She looks great!

Stay tuned as we tackle the following topics in Ageism, in subsequent parts:

PART 2 :‘Fashion as We Age’

For PART 3: Have you Been Discriminated Because of Your Age? Let me know if you’d love to be involved in this series. I’m throwing around the idea of either a blogger collab where a group of us take part in giving our brief opinion on this topic- or an interview. Not sure yet. Let me know and we can discuss this further. Email me at: lucy_bertoldi@hotmai.com

Have a great day Gorgeous!

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I love this blogging community so much! And I know how much goes into writing every single post, every single week. It’s a dedication thing. And- we wouldn’t do it if we didn’t love it. So we put our everything in it! Please take the time to check out these wonderful bloggers and what they have to say. It’s good for everyone:)

(Click on the Links below to see where I go read, comment and link up every week!)

MONDAY LINKS

The Ageless Style Link Up-  The first Monday of every month

Glass of Glam

My Glittery Heart

Away From the Blue

Robin LaMonte

Fashion Trends and Friends

Ask Suzanne Bell

Fashion Fairy Dust

Beauty By Miss L

A Simply Lovely Life

TUESDAY LINKS:

Links a la Mode

I Do De Claire

Elegantly Dressed and Stylish

Walking in Memphis in High Heels and The Fashion Canvas

Shelbee on the Edge

Style Splash

Jenerally Informed

Not Dressed as Lamb

WEDNESDAY LINKS:

Jersey Girl Texan Heart

Living on Cloud Nine

Rosy Outlook

Seeking Sunshine

Straight A Style Blog

Granola and Grace

The Queen in Between

Coast to Coast

This Blonde Shopping Bag

Is This Mutton

Mix and Match Mama

My Purple World – Oh My Heartsie Girl

THURSDAY LINKS:

A Labour of Life

High Latitude Style

Doused in Pink and Curly Crafty Mom

Good Random Fun

Mummabstylish

Thursday Moda by Elegance & Mommyhood

My Bijou Life Online 1-Creative Compulsions AND 2-Traffic Jam

North West Mountain Living

FRIDAY Links:

I also do a Link Party every Friday! Confessions of a Montreal Styling Diva

Sharing a Journey

Shelbee on the Edge

Nancy’s Fashion Style

Lizzie in Lace

Momfessionals.com

Traffic Jam Weekend

Grammy’s Grid (all month long!)

Saturday

Fine Whatever Blog

Sunday

Chez Mireille and Elegance and Mommyhood

18 thoughts on “AGEISM Part 1: You’re Not the Boss of Me…

Add yours

  1. That red dress is beautiful and you are a stunning woman ❤
    I love that I've got greying hair and have always embraced getting older. I'm going to be a fabulous granny some day ❤ I'm 44 now and have had three children. While my blog is about my sexual journey through the Zodiac from an open marriage, I had to embrace my body as is and be confident in my person to take that journey so, I agree with thought. Be beautiful people and we'll attract admirers no matter our age ❤

    Coming to you from the Wow on Wednesday Link up!

    Like

  2. I love this! You’re so right. I hate “anti ageing” as a term- pro ageing is far better! Although I’m still dubious at how everything is aimed at turning back time. I fear that beauty companies play on our insecurities by offering potions that are supposed to reduce wrinkles, when we really know they can’t.

    I always say now that women look good- I would never say “for her age.” Just wrong.

    You look fabulous in the photos, and thanks for the feature! Xx

    Like

    1. I was so excited to read your post an that it coincides perfectly with mine. Loved featuring you- and why not! Women supporting women- yay! And- I know exactly what you mean with the beauty products… Fighting for our right here:) xx

      Like

  3. I completely agree, Lucy! Getting older is not a disease to be stamped out. I like myself. And I have earned every wrinkle and gray hair. I’ve never understood this fascination with eternal youth, even when I was young. And the people who helped teach me the best way to navigate life were old and wrinkled. It’s a shame our society can’t value all people.

    Michelle
    https://mybijoulifeonline.com

    Like

    1. I agree with you too! It’s part of life! And we should not be erased or made to look like we did 30 years ago (as if no one could tell!). In all of it I am on our side though – older women- and any choice anyone of us wants to make- whatever that is! I just want the media to stop telling us how and what we should be like. Love this convo. Have a great weekend xx

      Like

  4. The dental analogy is spot-on, Lucy! We take care of ourselves so that we remain heathy, feeling happy, and feeling content with ourselves as we are. “Self-care isn’t selfish,” is my mantra. I do not ever touch up my pictures, except sometimes to make them sharper (which ironically makes my wrinkles more noticeable).

    I find I am happier now than when I was younger, and it’s not because these “miracle” products make me look younger, but that I’m more comfortable with who I am, and more confident.

    It’s appalling how few women my age I see in media, or they are airbrushed within an inch of their lives!

    I’m looking forward to the next parts – my fashion has become more “out there” as I’ve gotten older (and I refuse to be invisible!). I don’t feel that I’ve been discriminated due to my age (I’m 53), but I did nod a few times when I read this article about mask-wearing for women: https://jezebel.com/some-women-want-to-keep-wearing-masks-to-deflect-the-ma-1846864983 (the comments are also good). I have noticed that I get better service in stores when I’m masked up – maybe it’s that people assume I’m younger due to the way I dress?

    On a final note, I am working to not go to appearance-based compliments with women FIRST, as in “You look so good!” – we are NOT our appearances! I try to give a personality-based comment first, as in, “How is my super-intelligent and confident colleague today? By the way, you look fabulous.” Ha ha, it’s a start.

    Like

    1. Omg I love this comment and you’re point of view! For me, I find that it’s in the choice of any woman to do whatever they want to feel great, and beautiful, or strong or whatever it is that we want to put out there. It’s our choice! Even if that means cosmetics, or cosmetic surgery- I’m all for it if the woman wants it.
      What I am opposed to is the reaction of others and the judging or ‘placing in slots’ of what we should look like or be. And for me that’s the fault of the media- it’s a whole thing.
      As for telling someone they look great , I’m ok with that! In fact I make it a point as I find it’s great to compliment and make others feel appreciated. We do that naturally with anything we see that we find beautiful- we always exclaim delight in that (take the weather, the flowers for instance)- so why not tell someone they look gorgeous?! However, I strongly
      disagree with adding: “for her age” to that comment though! Thanks so much Sheila!! xx

      Like

  5. You look stunning in this red dress and I love these photos of you! Now that I’m middle aged I tend to notice the wording of these products more and more and it doesn’t make me feel good to see anti-aging, etc. I love that we can lift each other up and acknowledge that aging is normal and ok! And, not something to be ashamed of!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    Like

  6. That maxi dress is beautiful on you and this is such a good post too! Neither my mother or my grandmothers worried about aging or anti-aging so I don’t either, I’m not a fan of all the “anti aging” stuff and I don’t see myself ever using any of it to be honest. I either have bare skin or tinted sunscreen on rather than all the cosmetics anyway. We should take care of ourselves and dress and wear what makes us happy, and don’t worry about “rules” or ‘expectations” others set, so true!

    Thank you for joining the #WeekdayWearLinkUp!

    Away From Blue

    Like

  7. Great post and message, my friend! I have long hated the term anti-aging as well. Aging is a part of living and probably the very best part of it, too! For without aging, we would just be…well…dead. Or some kind of freak of nature and we know how well our society treats the really unique beings they encounter. So age I will and I will do it proudly and gratefully. I really love these photos in this post, too! They are so beautiful!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    Like

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